Dead Journal
Monday Mood - Fall
The first line that I wrote yesterday: It is 62 degrees outside. Fall has officially taken over my heart, so be prepared. I make no apologies. Yep. I m a Fall baby from bloom to root. My birthday? October 2. I share my birthday with Nat Turner, Lorraine Bracco, Gandhi, Wallace Stevens, Kiki de Montparnasse, Moses Gunn, Groucho Marx, and Tiffany. I always got a kick out of the last one since she was popular when I was younger. Same birthday, same name, but she is a year older than me. And Kiki, of course, 2 October 1901 – 29 April 1953. My main muse. Anyway. I am all about cool weather, twirling leaves, change of light. Halloween, horror, HORROR! Pumpkin bread, spicy scents. My mood changes for the better until winter comes, but that is a different story. Fall in the Midwest, at least my fragment of it seems to last as long as a snap. I spend more time thrifting for the perfect Fall jacket, then wearing it. A few snippets from a Live journal entry from August 8, 2006. I was 33 and clearly in my feelings:
I am ready for Fall. Summer is nothing but wasted days for me. Two weeks from now I am dying my hair jet black and cutting it into a shorter bob. Want to know when I am unravelling? Watch my hair. Weltschmerz* all-encompassing sadness about life: sadness felt at the imperfect state of the world, especially at the behavior of human beings * I stumbled upon that word while checking to make sure I had not made up "wearwithall"
"Summer is nothing but wasted days for me." - Same feels. I am a fall baby too and can't wait for it to be cool in NJ already!