We set out in the darkness. Half awake, idle chit chat that is only acceptable with someone that you love and not the type that comes after a fight and takes the tone/place of apology. We did have a little tiff but that came from a place of tiredness and frustration that had nothing to do with us but the unknowns of our new venture. So we rode in silence for minutes listening to stories about March Madness, Chicago Public schools, Florida, then were fine. Now I am at the infusion center. I was on the first appointments so I was able to claim my favorite room with a view of Lake Michigan, various rooftops and mirror glazed windows. I am writing about love soured, trying to ignore the tenderness of my left arm. Focusing on how good my body will feel a day or so after because last night my left leg betrayed me. Pain, numbness. A feeling that it wanted to give out. It didn’t. Resilience is cruel sometimes. My nurse is young, attentive, pleasant to talk to in a way where I feel bad for my introvertedness and force myself to continue our conversation. We talked about the weather, walking, and she complimented my perfume. She brought me coffee with 3 packets. I am a 6-8 packet girl but thought to myself, “This is an opportunity to drink coffee, not caffeinated liquid candy!” Ha! Needle in left arm (so I can type), blood pressure cuff on right (thank goodness it gives a warning before gripping.) I have healthy snacks and a book. Though I will probably not read because you know, Nulla dies sine linea. I wonder if I should get that tattooed? Is it too trite? Do I care? My middle girl is on her way to see me all the way from Godfrey, 300 miles south. She clears her schedule and hangs with me here and then the rest of the weekend is family catch up. Just found out it will be a rapid infusion, so I should be finished in less than two hours, rather than the 6 hour ordeal that it usually is. The sun is shining. The sun shines.
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I hope you have had a good weekend with your middle girl. What a gift!